The busy life of a full time employee, student, mom and wife

Monday, July 30, 2012

Mommy guilt

A common fear among moms getting ready to make the transition from one kid to two is that they're worried about how much love they'll have for their second kid.  They don't know how they could share the love that they have for their first child. They quickly learn that you don't share, you grow. Your love for #2 is just as big and strong as your love for #1, it doesn't get divided, it grows. What they don't tell you though, is that your time doesn't grow with your family. You still have the same amount of time to spend with your kids, but now instead of one kid needing nurturing and wanting your undivided attention, you have two.

I have been going through a pretty hefty bout of mommy guilt lately, feeling like I don't spend enough time with my kids. We're gone 11 hours a day at work/commuting. When I get home from work I'm pretty much making a dash to the kitchen to get dinner started. If I'm lucky and dinner cooks quickly I can spend some time with them after dinner. Then its bath time then bedtime. On weekdays I get around 2 hours a day with my kids. TWO HOURS. Our weekends are then filled with running errands, grocery shopping, and cleaning. I don't spend nearly enough time actually with my kids, rather than just in their general vicinity.

So whats the solution? I wish I knew. We may have the option to move closer to work in a few years, but until Anthony is in school and we aren't paying for two full time daycare spots that just wont be financially feasible. Quit my job? Also preeeety far from realistic.  Create more hours in the day? Yes, that sounds good, lets do that.

People don't warn you about the mommy guilt of working and having multiple children. But that's life, I suppose. Their daycare is closed for a week later this month and I'll be taking the week off to be with them. Hopefully that will put the guilt at ease for a while.

Is anyone else feeling mommy guilt lately about something?

1 comment:

  1. My mom is making me feel guilty for even CONSIDERING going back to work. It makes me second guess myself like, whoa, wait am I ready to go back? The answer is yes, but why am I feeling guilty all of a sudden for actually wanting to? I know it's no comparison whatsoever to your situation, but it's a different kind of guilt I think. The - how dare you even think to put yourself ahead of your kids and go back to work guilt. :( Sorry you're feeling that way Shan.