Top three reasons I felt old at the mall

On Friday my boss decided to be oh so generous and send me home at 2:30. Normally I would be excited at such a thing, but you see, my husband and I live about 40 minutes from work so we carpool. There was no way I was driving home, sitting for an hour then coming back to get him. There's a mall about 5 minutes away so I thought "Hey! What better way to kill a couple hours? I'll go cruise the mall!" Mistake. You see my friends, I am not all that young anymore and the stores in the mall were just a cruel reminder of that. Lets go over the top three reasons I felt ancient at the mall. We'll do it countdown style.

3. The music. Holy crap the music. I cannot stand this new dub step, techno crap trend right now. All it is, is a never ending, insufferable beat that just never ever ever stops. And so. effing. loud. God forbid you try to carry on a conversation over it. I'd rather shove jelly beans in my ears than listen to another minute of that shit.

2. The clothes.  I will readily admit that I don't shop often. I have other things to spend my money on. Like kids. I know there are some trends that I'm just not on board with, but I guess I didn't realize how far from being trendy I am anymore. Why are these shirts so short and wide?? What an unflattering shape! Are those high wasted spandex shorts? How is that even comfortable? Is this a shirt or a skirt? Is that a unitard? Are those back in style?? I felt so lost in a sea of horrible clothes.

and the number one reason I felt old at the mall....

1. I kept wishing I had gone to Target. And not just because my chapstick had run out and I needed more badly. I mean, the clothes at Target make sense. The music at Target isn't ear piercing.  I could have gotten chapstick and cruised around the home section looking at stuff I want to buy for my house. Or looked through the little kids section and probably bought things my boys didn't need but would have looked so cute in. I could have gotten a few magazines and some goldfish and hung out on the lawn furniture. That would have been a good way to kill some time.


Lets just say I was more than a little relieved to get an invitation to happy hour so I had a legitimate excuse to leave. So now I know. While my drivers license may say I'm not that old, I'm really not that young. Next time I get sent home early I'm high tailing to Target. There's even a Marshalls across the street if I feel like gettin crazy.