A life secret.

I know that everyone wants to talk about this tragedy in Conneticut but I just can't. My heart just hurts too bad. So instead, i'm gonna tell you guys a secret. A life secret. It's something I learned a few years ago that has made me a substantially happier person. I'm not trying to say I have life figured out because believe me sister, I don't. I'm just saying that with this one, little secret that I learned I have become a far more relaxed, happy, and less high strung person. You ready for it?

Learn to accept help. Like, really accept it. Don't go out seeking help (unless you really need it!) and pawn everything off on other people, but if someone offers to do something small to help you out, say yes! If you ask yourself "why not?" and cant come up with a legitimate answer why you shouldn't let this person help within about 5 seconds, tell them yes. But first you have to realize that accepting help comes in different forms.

When my husband and I first started dating we were very young and I was just starting to find myself as an adult. In that journey I learned that adult me likes my house clean. So I would clean our house, and I would get mad that he wasn't helping. So I would make him help. Then I would get mad that he did it "wrong." Then I would go behind him and re-clean everything he just cleaned, all while getting even more mad that he did it wrong and I had to clean it anyway. After a while he saw that I would just go re-clean everything he cleaned so he stopped cleaning. Why clean something if someone else is going to? So I would get mad all over again that he wasn't helping. It was a lose/lose. If he cleaned, I was mad he didn't do it  my way, if he didn't clean I was mad he wasn't helping. I wanted his help but I wouldn't accept it.  I couldn't accept that his way of cleaning was good enough when in reality, it was just fine.

No, he may not have wiped down the sink after he was done doing dishes, but those water spots weren't going to kill anyone were they? The dishes were done weren't they?  He may have missed a spot vacuuming but I'm pretty sure that one little triangle of carpet didn't contain the plague, and we'd all be just fine.  This one definitely took some time, but I eventually learned that I my way is not the only way, and that I don't have to be the one to do everything in order for it to be done "right." This applies to other areas too, not just cleaning. Parenting, driving, cooking... everything. I let him do things and we are a partnership. Not only has this relieved stress for me by not feeling like I need to do it all and being bitter that I'm the only one working, but it's relieved stress on our relationship too. We don't fight about me not having help and doing everything alone because I allow him to help, I don't push it away saying it's not good enough or not "right."

Another way to accept help is to just plain accept it. Let people help. This is still a work in progress for me. When I was slammed busy trying to get everything ready for Anthony's birthday party my mom offered to help. My knee jerk reaction was to tell her no, but thank you. Then I thought about it for a minute, why not? What in the world was so bad about me letting her help assemble some of the things I had made? Why would I say no? Pride? So I went back and told her that I actually could use her help. And you know what? She ended up staying late that night helping me, I would never have gotten everything done in time without her help.  I have a surgery coming up in a few weeks and I have no idea how long I will be down afterwards. My sister offered to make a few meals for my family and I, so I could relax and recover and Brandon wouldn't have to add "cooking dinner" to the list of things he'll already be handling by himself while I'm down. Again, my reaction was to say no. But why? Because I want to be super mom and not let someone else take care of my family? I thought about it for a few minutes and again went back and said actually, yes. Now that's one less thing I have to worry about during my recovery. I know my family and I will eat well (and not fast food) and my husband wont be stressing about making or buying meals.

Next time someone offers help and your reaction is to say no stop for a minute and ask yourself why you're actually saying no. Is it pride? Do you really actually have any reason at all to say no? If you don't have a reason, then just say yes! You can do it, I know you can. Next time your husband cleans the kitchen and leaves streaks on the countertop, just take a breath, walk away, and go kiss him and tell him thank you for the help. It's amazing how much stress you can relieve by just accepting a little bit of help.

Fall/Winter pictures

It's the time of year for Christmas cards and family pictures! Because nothing says I love you quite like giving someone pictures of yourself, right? The concept of pictures in/on Christmas cards is a little bit lost on me, except for when given to family members that rarely see you or your kids. But its a "thing" and my family all seem to love it, so we divulge and we took our Christmas pictures this past weekend.

We went up to a really pretty park. It has a railroad track running through it and has a ton of seasonal trees that give off a lot of leaves. It photographs really well. Well enough that there were about ten other families there taking family pictures the same time we were. I wish I was kidding or exaggerating, but I'm not. There was a lot of "watch out, we're gonna be in the background of these peoples pictures" or "just a sec there's someone in the background." But luckily everyone knew what everyone else was trying to do and was mostly courteous about trying to stay out of each others way.

I love photographing my family. In my completely unbiased opinion, my boys are pretty freakin cute and easy to photograph so its fun. The downside of it is that I'm never in any of the pictures. I have about 486,542,878 pictures of my boys together and my husband with them but about 20 of me and the boys and like 3 of the four of us together. I used the self timer to jump in a few of them, but I look a little beat from first taking pictures and the toddler chasing that entails, and then from running to try to beat the timer and get "posed" in time.

The shots I got of the boys were pretty good. I was really sad though, I got some really really cute ones of the two of them when we first got there, only to realize my 1yr old who was trying to play with my camera the night before had switched me from auto focus to manual focus and all of my favorite ones were not in focus. I was able to get a few that were in focus but the boys were over that spot so we had to move on. Sad me. Our day ended early when Anthony got stung by a bee and was in no mood to continue taking pictures. Through the timer beating, the bee stinging, and the manual focus I was able to get some really cute shots. So now, I share them!

This was my favorite spot, that was first out of focus then the boys were over it. As Anthony is demonstrating here.
 

 

 

Hey look! I'm in one! Messy hair and all.

 

After posting these an old friend from high school contacted me about taking some pictures for her family. So not this coming weekend, but the following I'll be taking pictures of someone elses family for the first time! Wish me luck!

Halloween!

Halloween is my favorite holiday. Hands down. I love Christmas, I love Thanksgiving (really, who doesn't??) But there's just something about Halloween that I LOVE. I love the spooky, creepy, scarys. Its my thing. I was beyond excited when we moved into our new house earlier this month and were told by multiple neightbors that Halloween was a big deal around there. We found out on Halloween...they weren't kidding.

Brandon and I left work at noon and after a quick stop at the dentist (I got to have a root canal on Halloween, lucky me!) we were home getting everything ready for the night! My mom, my sister and her kids came over to join in the festivities. We set up the driveway with some chairs, the fire pit, and a cauldron full of dry ice. My brother in law stayed behind and passed out candy while we took the kids out to trick or treat.

Seriously it's been a dream of mine to live in a neighborhood like that. I enjoyed every second of not having to drive anywhere and of being able to host my family for my favorite holiday. Unfortunately all I took was a few pictures on my phone, but you can see how cute my boys are!

Noah was Hulk baby!

Anthony was a super studly superman!

He decided that Superman needed a mask, I dont know why. He INSISTED.

My trick or treating babies!

Brandon and I were the bad wolf and dead red riding hood. See? Im dead cause the wolf got me....get it???

Red riding hood needs to invest in an iron.

Our set up in the driveway

All that candy and we still ran out. We started handing out Noahs trick or treating candy haha

Pumpkin patch!

In 2010 we made our first trip as a family to the Bates Nut Farm pumpkin patch. When Brandon was a kid he would go with his family every year and we have inherited the tradition. This year was our third year making the trip out there, and even though it is indeed a trip to get there, we always enjoy our time. Its a huge pumpkin patch with "big macs" that you pay per pound or your average sized pumpkin for a set price. There's rides and mazes and a little store where you can buy home made jams and all sorts of goodies. The weather was cool and drizzly, the boys were well behaved, and we got some good pumpkins. I'll let the pictures do the rest of the talking!



My kid is crazy

I was that mom. I made me kids wear matching sweaters

Nono trying to move one of the Big Macs

Look at this stud muffin!

Coolest kids ever

family portrait

The boys runnin in the pumpkin field

look at this cool guy!

 There is a stack of pumpkins, a little picture prop they have out every year. The first year we took a picture with it just because it was there. But we've taken pictures with it every year since. It's kinda cool to look back and see how different your life can be just a year later.

2010 - our first trip out to the pumpkin patch. Ant was almost two and so small and cute and innocent!

2011 - Notice the little tiny newborn Noey here! This year it was super hot and miserable.

 

2012! We made a point to plan our trip around the weather this year, no more hot pumpkin patch trips!

Im embarassed to admit that im so out of shape, my legs were sore from squatting down to take pictures of my kids. But thats the ugly truth, people.

Eight years!

Once you're married are you still allowed to celebrate your dating anniversary? Is it weird that we still do? We don't go all out, we usually just go on a date and call it a night. We don't generally exchange gifts or anything, but we still want to at least acknowledge the day that initially brought us together.

Today, my husband and I celebrate EIGHT YEARS of togetherness. Eight. Holy moly. We met when we were eighteen years old. We were both just barely graduated from high school, fresh, shiny new adults trying to pretend like we knew what we were doing. We were both working for a retail store, same store but different locations. We met when his friend worked at the same branch as I did, and he had come to pick said friend up from work. I knew it was love after our very first conversation:

Brandon to his friend: Okay I'm going outside to smoke, meet me outside.
Me: Ew, nasty.
Brandon: It's not like I'm trying to impress you.
Me: It's a good thing, too.

Ahhh love was in the air. Our second interaction a went slightly better. He came to cover a shift at my branch and we spent the entire shift chatting, him letting me poke him in his freshly broken nose (he was 18 and super tough, guys!), and letting me draw tattoos on his arm with a sharpie. That time, there really was something in the air. We hung out a few days later and were pretty much inseparable after that. I'd also like to happily report that he no longer smokes, because I still find it gross.

Eight years of togetherness, three years of marriage, and two babies later, I still kinda love him. I'm very blessed to call him my husband, and I thank God regularly for bringing us together. I wouldn't choose to walk through life with anyone else by my side.

New years 2004-2005. Please feel free to laugh at my black hair.

On our wedding day May 2009

Our first ever picture as a family of three. November, 2008

and then came baby #2 August 2011.

Look what we made together!

One of the very first, (and very few :/) pictures of the four of us together

On our third wedding anniversary, in Hawaii May 2012

Comic Con!

Anthony is really into superheroes and Brandon has gotten into them with him so he really wanted to try to go to comic con this year. By some serious alignment of stars and God working in our favor, Brandon and I were able to get tickets to Comic Con on Saturday! We loaded up on the trolley bright and early and made the trip down there!

First of all, Anthony loved the trolley. We've never ridden it with him before, he was so excited to be on it! It was a long ride, about 40 minutes, but he did really well. He was really excited when we first got into comic con but was pretty quickly overwhelmed by the crowd. He was constantly asking to be held or to get up on someones shoulders. We heard them announce that some of the batmobiles from the movies were out back, so we thought we would take the opportunity to get some fresh air and see something that Ant would really love. So we're out there cruising around when we hear one of the cars start up, so we quickly head over to check it out. After the guy revs it a few times he turns it off and climbs out and they let one kid get in and take pictures. I was SO excited thinking they were letting kids get in and ran to get in line only to find out that that particular kid was a contest winner, and that no one else was allowed in the cars. These cars were roped off, you weren't even allowed to touch them.

Now you moms of toddlers know, once you've told your kid you're gunna do something, you need to do it. Especially if you've just told your 3yr old who's tired and worn out and in a batman costume that he's going to get to sit in a real life batmobile. I was on a mission, I was not taking no for an answer. I walked over to the tent to speak to the people who were in control of the car, and despite my pleading was being told no, no one was allowed in the cars. Until the head honcho walked up and saw Anthony. She gushed over how cute he was and just about lost her mind when she asked his name and he answered that it was Batman. So I told her, "Yeah we saw another kid get into one of the cars and we were under the impression that everyone could. I told him he could and I was hoping we could let him sit in one..." She replies "Oh you wanna sit in a batmobile?.... Lets go." She leads him over to the batmobile from the Tim Burton batman, opens up the velvet ropes and puts him right in! I couldn't believe it. A crowd gathered, ooohing and aaahing about how cute he was in his costume and taking pictures of him in the car. It was surreal.

Waving to the crowd that had gathered to see him

Shortly after that my sister came and got him, he was so overtired and a 40 minute trolley ride home didn't sound fun. Brandon and I ended up staying until closing with some friends. We cruised each booth and people watched some insane costumes. To say there were some interesting costumes would be an understatement.

This is out of focus. But too good to not post.

This little guy was AWESOME!

Fair time!

It's that time of year when the fair rolls into town! Bringing with it all the rickety rides and fried food you could possibly imagine. Since being together, Brandon and I have made a habit of going every year, and this year was no differnent. This past Saturday we loaded up the kiddos and made the trek down to the fair. We enjoyed fair food (portabello mushrooms stuffed with gouda cheese, wrapped in bacon and grilled! DELICIOUS!), browsed booths full of TODAY ONLY! sales, went through some exhibits, and rode a few rides with Anthony. In 2008 when I was pregnant with Anthony we decided to take some photobooth pictures. I was only about 4 months pregnant and wasn't showing enough to try to get a belly shot, but we knew that Anthony was there. Every year since then we have taken photobooth pictures. It has evolved into a tradition that no one planned, but that we love so much. I love seeing how much our family has changed each year. In five years we've gone from just two of us in that booth to this year cramming four of us in there! Let me tell you, it got hot quick up in there.

2008-2012 of photobooth awesomeness!

ebony and ivory

My boys are just under three years apart in age. I always heard about how siblings are always so different from each other but I guess I just never really got it. My sister and I are practically polar opposites but I still didn't really get what people meant. Until I had a second kid. Noah is a completely different baby than Anthony was. Anthony was colic, Noah was calm. Anthony drooled like a mad man, that kid could soak the front of a shirt in 5 minutes flat. Noah barely drools, even when he's teething. Ant was walking at 9.5 months, Noah barely started crawling at 9.5 months. Anthony was a little tiny stick figure of a baby, Noah is a chunka monka. Anthony has curly blonde hair, Noah has straight brown hair. The list goes on and on.



Seriously, how can they both look like dad but not at all like each other?

They amaze me in that they both  look SO MUCH like their dad, yet somehow look nothing like each other. Honestly I wouldn't even guess them siblings if I didn't know them.  How can they have the same parents, and both resemble their dad so much and still look nothing alike?! Little magicians.

I always knew that Noah kinda resembled how Ant looked as a baby, but I never realized how much. Until today when I was looking through old pictures on my Facebook and realized that even though they don't look alike now, when I look back at pictures of Anthony at this age, Noah looks just like him. A little chubbier and brunette, but the similarities are so present. Present in that you can actually see similarities in them!



These two babies could almost pass as siblings! ...if they existed at the same time. But alas, Baby Anthony took these pictures in 2009 and Baby Noah took them in 2012. Maybe when Noey grows up a little more he'll start to resemble Ant a little more. Until then, I have these two little tricksters, who both come from the same parents, both look like their dad, but somehow look nothing like each other.  I love these little tricksters so much.

Impromptu Fathers day pictures taken last night :)