A common fear among moms getting ready to make the transition from one kid to two is that they're worried about how much love they'll have for their second kid. They don't know how they could share the love that they have for their first child. They quickly learn that you don't share, you grow. Your love for #2 is just as big and strong as your love for #1, it doesn't get divided, it grows. What they don't tell you though, is that your time doesn't grow with your family. You still have the same amount of time to spend with your kids, but now instead of one kid needing nurturing and wanting your undivided attention, you have two.
I have been going through a pretty hefty bout of mommy guilt lately, feeling like I don't spend enough time with my kids. We're gone 11 hours a day at work/commuting. When I get home from work I'm pretty much making a dash to the kitchen to get dinner started. If I'm lucky and dinner cooks quickly I can spend some time with them after dinner. Then its bath time then bedtime. On weekdays I get around 2 hours a day with my kids. TWO HOURS. Our weekends are then filled with running errands, grocery shopping, and cleaning. I don't spend nearly enough time actually with my kids, rather than just in their general vicinity.
So whats the solution? I wish I knew. We may have the option to move closer to work in a few years, but until Anthony is in school and we aren't paying for two full time daycare spots that just wont be financially feasible. Quit my job? Also preeeety far from realistic. Create more hours in the day? Yes, that sounds good, lets do that.
People don't warn you about the mommy guilt of working and having multiple children. But that's life, I suppose. Their daycare is closed for a week later this month and I'll be taking the week off to be with them. Hopefully that will put the guilt at ease for a while.
Is anyone else feeling mommy guilt lately about something?
Monday, July 30, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
Comic Con!
Anthony is really into superheroes and Brandon has gotten into them with him so he really wanted to try to go to comic con this year. By some serious alignment of stars and God working in our favor, Brandon and I were able to get tickets to Comic Con on Saturday! We loaded up on the trolley bright and early and made the trip down there!
First of all, Anthony loved the trolley. We've never ridden it with him before, he was so excited to be on it! It was a long ride, about 40 minutes, but he did really well. He was really excited when we first got into comic con but was pretty quickly overwhelmed by the crowd. He was constantly asking to be held or to get up on someones shoulders. We heard them announce that some of the batmobiles from the movies were out back, so we thought we would take the opportunity to get some fresh air and see something that Ant would really love. So we're out there cruising around when we hear one of the cars start up, so we quickly head over to check it out. After the guy revs it a few times he turns it off and climbs out and they let one kid get in and take pictures. I was SO excited thinking they were letting kids get in and ran to get in line only to find out that that particular kid was a contest winner, and that no one else was allowed in the cars. These cars were roped off, you weren't even allowed to touch them.
Now you moms of toddlers know, once you've told your kid you're gunna do something, you need to do it. Especially if you've just told your 3yr old who's tired and worn out and in a batman costume that he's going to get to sit in a real life batmobile. I was on a mission, I was not taking no for an answer. I walked over to the tent to speak to the people who were in control of the car, and despite my pleading was being told no, no one was allowed in the cars. Until the head honcho walked up and saw Anthony. She gushed over how cute he was and just about lost her mind when she asked his name and he answered that it was Batman. So I told her, "Yeah we saw another kid get into one of the cars and we were under the impression that everyone could. I told him he could and I was hoping we could let him sit in one..." She replies "Oh you wanna sit in a batmobile?.... Lets go." She leads him over to the batmobile from the Tim Burton batman, opens up the velvet ropes and puts him right in! I couldn't believe it. A crowd gathered, ooohing and aaahing about how cute he was in his costume and taking pictures of him in the car. It was surreal.
Shortly after that my sister came and got him, he was so overtired and a 40 minute trolley ride home didn't sound fun. Brandon and I ended up staying until closing with some friends. We cruised each booth and people watched some insane costumes. To say there were some interesting costumes would be an understatement.
First of all, Anthony loved the trolley. We've never ridden it with him before, he was so excited to be on it! It was a long ride, about 40 minutes, but he did really well. He was really excited when we first got into comic con but was pretty quickly overwhelmed by the crowd. He was constantly asking to be held or to get up on someones shoulders. We heard them announce that some of the batmobiles from the movies were out back, so we thought we would take the opportunity to get some fresh air and see something that Ant would really love. So we're out there cruising around when we hear one of the cars start up, so we quickly head over to check it out. After the guy revs it a few times he turns it off and climbs out and they let one kid get in and take pictures. I was SO excited thinking they were letting kids get in and ran to get in line only to find out that that particular kid was a contest winner, and that no one else was allowed in the cars. These cars were roped off, you weren't even allowed to touch them.
Now you moms of toddlers know, once you've told your kid you're gunna do something, you need to do it. Especially if you've just told your 3yr old who's tired and worn out and in a batman costume that he's going to get to sit in a real life batmobile. I was on a mission, I was not taking no for an answer. I walked over to the tent to speak to the people who were in control of the car, and despite my pleading was being told no, no one was allowed in the cars. Until the head honcho walked up and saw Anthony. She gushed over how cute he was and just about lost her mind when she asked his name and he answered that it was Batman. So I told her, "Yeah we saw another kid get into one of the cars and we were under the impression that everyone could. I told him he could and I was hoping we could let him sit in one..." She replies "Oh you wanna sit in a batmobile?.... Lets go." She leads him over to the batmobile from the Tim Burton batman, opens up the velvet ropes and puts him right in! I couldn't believe it. A crowd gathered, ooohing and aaahing about how cute he was in his costume and taking pictures of him in the car. It was surreal.
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| Waving to the crowd that had gathered to see him |
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| This is out of focus. But too good to not post. |
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| This little guy was AWESOME! |
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
I may have lost it.
My life is pretty busy. I wake up at 5am, scramble to get myself and my boys dressed, ready and dropped off at daycare, commute 40 minutes to work where I proceed to spend 9 hours, then commute another 40 minutes back home. Once home I usually stand in the kitchen in my work clothes and toss together some sort of dinner, hoping we can sit down and eat before 7pm. After dinner is a whirlwind of baths, showers, and stories that usually results in me not getting into bed until about 9:30pm. I manage to get my schoolwork done during slow times at work, which is really the only reason I'm able to be in school at all. I seem to have a routine worked out so I can cram it all into one day. It's madness, but it works.
So what do all sane people do when they have a routine that works? Change it, of course. I decided that another two years of school was just a little too daunting for me. You see, I was late to start college. I thought after high school that I was just too cool for school, but it turns out that I'm really not. So basically I did a little research and found that my last two general education classes and my first few major specific classes are available online at a local community college. I can take them concurrently with my current classes and transfer the credits, speeding the process up a little bit. Then in light of some issues my school seems to be having, I think I've decided to transfer to National University, which is on a 4 week per class accelerated schedule. So basically I'm going to speed up the planned classes, then add two more classes per semester on top of them. Normal, right? Right. The end result though, is that I should be finished with school in just over a year, effectively cutting my time nearly in half. I'm hoping that seeing the growing light at the end of the tunnel will be the motivation I need to keep holding on to this crazy train. Sleep is overrated anyway, right?
So what do all sane people do when they have a routine that works? Change it, of course. I decided that another two years of school was just a little too daunting for me. You see, I was late to start college. I thought after high school that I was just too cool for school, but it turns out that I'm really not. So basically I did a little research and found that my last two general education classes and my first few major specific classes are available online at a local community college. I can take them concurrently with my current classes and transfer the credits, speeding the process up a little bit. Then in light of some issues my school seems to be having, I think I've decided to transfer to National University, which is on a 4 week per class accelerated schedule. So basically I'm going to speed up the planned classes, then add two more classes per semester on top of them. Normal, right? Right. The end result though, is that I should be finished with school in just over a year, effectively cutting my time nearly in half. I'm hoping that seeing the growing light at the end of the tunnel will be the motivation I need to keep holding on to this crazy train. Sleep is overrated anyway, right?
Monday, July 9, 2012
Top three reasons I felt old at the mall
On Friday my boss decided to be oh so generous and send me home at 2:30. Normally I would be excited at such a thing, but you see, my husband and I live about 40 minutes from work so we carpool. There was no way I was driving home, sitting for an hour then coming back to get him. There's a mall about 5 minutes away so I thought "Hey! What better way to kill a couple hours? I'll go cruise the mall!" Mistake. You see my friends, I am not all that young anymore and the stores in the mall were just a cruel reminder of that. Lets go over the top three reasons I felt ancient at the mall. We'll do it countdown style.
3. The music. Holy crap the music. I cannot stand this new dub step, techno crap trend right now. All it is, is a never ending, insufferable beat that just never ever ever stops. And so. effing. loud. God forbid you try to carry on a conversation over it. I'd rather shove jelly beans in my ears than listen to another minute of that shit.
2. The clothes. I will readily admit that I don't shop often. I have other things to spend my money on. Like kids. I know there are some trends that I'm just not on board with, but I guess I didn't realize how far from being trendy I am anymore. Why are these shirts so short and wide?? What an unflattering shape! Are those high wasted spandex shorts? How is that even comfortable? Is this a shirt or a skirt? Is that a unitard? Are those back in style?? I felt so lost in a sea of horrible clothes.
and the number one reason I felt old at the mall....
1. I kept wishing I had gone to Target. And not just because my chapstick had run out and I needed more badly. I mean, the clothes at Target make sense. The music at Target isn't ear piercing. I could have gotten chapstick and cruised around the home section looking at stuff I want to buy for my house. Or looked through the little kids section and probably bought things my boys didn't need but would have looked so cute in. I could have gotten a few magazines and some goldfish and hung out on the lawn furniture. That would have been a good way to kill some time.
Lets just say I was more than a little relieved to get an invitation to happy hour so I had a legitimate excuse to leave. So now I know. While my drivers license may say I'm not that old, I'm really not that young. Next time I get sent home early I'm high tailing to Target. There's even a Marshalls across the street if I feel like gettin crazy.
3. The music. Holy crap the music. I cannot stand this new dub step, techno crap trend right now. All it is, is a never ending, insufferable beat that just never ever ever stops. And so. effing. loud. God forbid you try to carry on a conversation over it. I'd rather shove jelly beans in my ears than listen to another minute of that shit.
2. The clothes. I will readily admit that I don't shop often. I have other things to spend my money on. Like kids. I know there are some trends that I'm just not on board with, but I guess I didn't realize how far from being trendy I am anymore. Why are these shirts so short and wide?? What an unflattering shape! Are those high wasted spandex shorts? How is that even comfortable? Is this a shirt or a skirt? Is that a unitard? Are those back in style?? I felt so lost in a sea of horrible clothes.
and the number one reason I felt old at the mall....
1. I kept wishing I had gone to Target. And not just because my chapstick had run out and I needed more badly. I mean, the clothes at Target make sense. The music at Target isn't ear piercing. I could have gotten chapstick and cruised around the home section looking at stuff I want to buy for my house. Or looked through the little kids section and probably bought things my boys didn't need but would have looked so cute in. I could have gotten a few magazines and some goldfish and hung out on the lawn furniture. That would have been a good way to kill some time.
Lets just say I was more than a little relieved to get an invitation to happy hour so I had a legitimate excuse to leave. So now I know. While my drivers license may say I'm not that old, I'm really not that young. Next time I get sent home early I'm high tailing to Target. There's even a Marshalls across the street if I feel like gettin crazy.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Fair time!
It's that time of year when the fair rolls into town! Bringing with it all the rickety rides and fried food you could possibly imagine. Since being together, Brandon and I have made a habit of going every year, and this year was no differnent. This past Saturday we loaded up the kiddos and made the trek down to the fair. We enjoyed fair food (portabello mushrooms stuffed with gouda cheese, wrapped in bacon and grilled! DELICIOUS!), browsed booths full of TODAY ONLY! sales, went through some exhibits, and rode a few rides with Anthony. In 2008 when I was pregnant with Anthony we decided to take some photobooth pictures. I was only about 4 months pregnant and wasn't showing enough to try to get a belly shot, but we knew that Anthony was there. Every year since then we have taken photobooth pictures. It has evolved into a tradition that no one planned, but that we love so much. I love seeing how much our family has changed each year. In five years we've gone from just two of us in that booth to this year cramming four of us in there! Let me tell you, it got hot quick up in there.
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| 2008-2012 of photobooth awesomeness! |
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