Summer blues

Every year this happens. At the beggining of summer I start to feel...nostalgic? Mostly just unsettled I guess. I don't know why this happens. Every year I want something new, some change, I never seem to be fully satisfied. I always want to move, or change jobs or SOMETHING. I think back to summers past and every summer was my favorite, and I guess I miss them.

In the summer of '03 I was 17, it was the summer between my junior year and my senior year. My life at home sucked so I did a lot of escaping. I was at the beach constantly. I mean, constantly. I would go by myself, I would go with friends, I would go before work, I would go after work, I would go all day and stay until I was too cold, then finally go home. My friends and I would go to the beach in the morning, stay all day, and have a bon fire once night came. This is one of the very few times of my high school life that I actually miss. Despite the hurt that I was trying to run from, I had some amazing times that summer. That was my favorite summer.

The summer of '08, I was pregnant with Anthony and Brandon and I had just moved into our Carefree condo. We were not carefree there, that was the name of the street it was on. We loved that condo. We got a bbq and some patio furniture for our little back yard.  We spent so much time just relaxing in our yard, bbq'ing and swimming in the complex's pool. We spent our Saturdays every weekend riding bikes around the bay. We were happy, loved our new place and were waiting for first baby to arrive. That was my favorite summer.

Anthony, July 4, 2009

The summer of '09, our second summer in the Carefree condo. We hosted our first 4th of July party and to this day that has stood as my favorite 4th of July. Anthony was about 8 months old and we got to do all kinds of fun things with him. We took him swimming for the first time, gave him popsicles for the first time, took him to the Del Mar fair, took him to the park, took him to his first Padre game, we were just enjoying our new little family.  That was my favorite summer.

Noah, summer '11 his first time at Disneyland

The summer of '11, I was pregnant with Noah, and we lived in the Marilla condo. Anthony could swim on his own so we spent so much time at the pool. These condos were so quiet we were almost always at the pool alone. We were expanding our family. We spent so much time just the three of us, soaking up our last few months as a family of three. I got to go on maternity leave at the end of summer, and as you saw from my last post, I loved maternity leave. I got to spend my days with my boys. Every morning we would go to the park and walk the trail, ending at the park to give Anthony some play time. I got to play in the kitchen trying new recipes, watch obscene amounts of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and watch Ghost Adventures while the boys napped. Life was good. That was my favorite summer.

This summer will be more like our first as a family of four. Noah was born late in summer and newborns don't get to do much fun stuff, so last summer only half counts. This summer we get to take Noah swimming for the first time, and take him to the fair and the park and all the fun baby summer stuff. And this time we get to do it with a toddler too. Doing things with a toddler is so different. Their zeal for life is contageous, and even the most normal things like going to the grocery store, can be made to be so much fun with a toddler. (or a nightmare, depending on their mood lol) This will be my favorite summer. So I don't know why im feeling unsettled. I decided this week I'm taking on the project of fixing up our practically abandoned back patio. Our back patio has a TON of potential to be awesome, but it's just...not. I'm hoping to make it inhabitable back there so we can have another 4th of July party. Hopefully I'll have a before and after post for you soon. This summer will be great, just like all the rest of them have been. I just have to get past this little funk and enjoy life. Then next year when these funky ass summer blues hit, i'll look back and remember this summer as my favorite, too.

Memorial day 2012. Daddy and his mini me

Noey, May 2012

Almost birthday time?!

The day after tomorrow will be June. JUNE. When did this happen? Wasn't it just new years last week? This year, for me June means birthday planning. I don't mean my nieces birthday, which is the 5th. Or my moms birthday, which is the 9th. Or my mother in laws birthday, which is the 16th. Or even MY birthday, which is the 20th. (June is a TAD bit busy) I mean my Noeys birthday. Which is in August. I'm a bit of an over planner. I like to get birthday invitations out about a month ahead of time so people have time to plan and I like to have everything set before I send out invitations. So that means the plannin wheels are about to be set in motion!

Noey is a little bit of a chub monster. In reality, he's really not; he's in the 45%ile. So he's actually quite average, but when your first child lived in the <10%ile his whole life, 45% seems huge. Point being, we decided we needed a theme to match our little big man. Brandon came up with the genius idea of Bobs Big Boy and well... it stuck.

So now here we are! With a Bobs Big Boy theme. I found a website with a tutorial on how to make "hamburger" cupcakes and sugar cookie "fries" to serve. We'll put some checker table clothes down and grill up real burgers and hot dogs. Buy our little big boy a Bobs Big Boy shirt and maybe put a little wave in his hair. And then cry because my baby is a year old. I'll come up with more fun stuff as we get closer to... ya know...August.

I can't believe we're already talking about his birthday!! I remember his birth like it was yesterday and the stressful days in the NICU that followed. I remember my first day home alone with two kids, wondering how the hell I was ever going to manage. I remember being super productive and crafting like I never had before, and thinking I was so awesome doing all that on top of taking care of two kids. I remember finding out later it was just because my newborn slept a lot and once he got a little older I was not as awesome. I remember having a clean house and good, home cooked meals for dinner every night when I was home on leave and being proud that no matter how busy I was with both kids, I was still at least able to manage those two things. I remember being proud that even though I entered this relationship with  my now husband 8 years earlier I didn't have a single domestic bone in my body, and now here I was, running a household and doing so efficiently. I remember being so sad to go back to work even though I was desperate for adult conversation. After coming back to work my days are so busy and rushed, time passes by in a flash. I feel like those 3 months on leave took just as long as these past almost 7 months back at work have gone. It makes me extremely sad to know that I miss so many moments during the day with my boys. Yes, I was on the verge of losing my marbles on a regular occasion when I stayed home, but I was happily losing them. I was taking care of my family.

But in the times we live in, with the cost of living as high as it is, not working isn't an option. So until I find the money tree or win the lottery, I'll give hugs and kisses every morning and go off to work. And i'll take two months to plan something as silly as a first birthday, trying to impliment and force a theme into every place imaginable. I'll spend too much money and far too much time making every detail perfect, details most people wont even notice. And I'll do it all happily, because its for my littlest man.

Happy Birthday

Today would have been my brothers birthday. It's today that American Cancer Society's "more birthdays" campaign makes so much sense.

It doesn't get easier. And it doesn't necessarily get harder. It changes with time, the grief evolves.

Last time I wrote about my brother and mentioned the Relay I didn't post the link because I wasn't looking for contributions at that point. I think today is a good day to say that now I am looking for contributions. Fighting against a disease like cancer isn't cheap. These doctors and scientists are squaring up against a powerhouse, a force on its own, they are fighting THE fight. Today, please help me to help someone celebrate another birthday.

If you can donate: here is the link to my Relay page: http://main.acsevents.org/goto/wtrshannon

Hawaii

Our trip was amazing. Seriously, amazing. The extra money spent for the ocean front condo was well spent. You walk into the lobby of our condos and were met with a giant all glass wall and an endless ocean view. Our room had the same giant glass wall and endless ocean view in both the living room and bedroom. You can't beat that! The wind in Maui is insane, it was so windy the entire time. We had what we lovingly referred to as the wind tunnel in our room. If the sliding glass door was open, when you opened the front door you were met with INSANE wind. I dried my hair in the wind tunnel one day because it was too hot for the blow dryer. No seriously, I really did.

View from our balcony. I drank and read a lot out there.

Our first day there we got in too early to check in so we ate a local, gourmet lunch of McDonalds chicken nuggets in the condo parking lot then went swimming on the ocean outside our condos. The beach was rocky, therefore the water was rocky and not a great swimming beach. But once you swam out past the break it wasn't so bad. After about 15 minutes of swimming we noticed a few people pointing to something in the water and I look over to see two GIANT sea turtles swimming maybe five feet away from me. Amazing. We were friends. As long as they didn't try to snap at me, we were friends. We checked in, got dressed and went to dinner at the Maui Brewing Company which originally, I was SO excited to learn was within walking distance. It was a total disappointment. The menu was tiny and overpriced and the beer was okay.

Our roadside beach!

Next day we took the approximately 10 minute drive South to Lahaina with all intentions to do surfing lessons. But once we got cruisin the shops and eating shaved ice we decided we didn't want to stop, so we just kept on walkin and shoppin. We went to a small, hard to find beach at the North end of Lahaina that had incredibly clear water and TONS of coral with fish swimmin around. What it didn't have, however, was any sort of waves. There was a rock wall about a hundred feet out in the water, I assume to protect the coral. We spent about an hour there before we got bored with it and went in search of another beach. Maui had these random beaches on the side of the highway. You'd be driving along the highway then see cars parked on the side and people on the beach. So we decided to stop along one of these random highway beaches and it ended up being our favorite beach of all. The shorebreak was a little rough but once you got past it the swimming was easy and water was crystal clear. We saw ANOTHER two sea turtles swimmin along at this beach too! It was really nice that no matter what beach we went to, it was never crowded. Im used to the beaches in San Diego where you have about two feet of beach to yourself. Every single beach we went to was us and maybe one or two other people.

At least Brandon looked handsome at the luau

The next day was our anniversary so we went to breakfast at this little place we randomly found on Yelp called the Gazebo. We found out later this restaurant is uber popular and ended up waiting a good half hour for a table. The wait was well worth it. Banana and macadamia nut pancakes? Yes, please. After breakfast we packed up some snack and some beers and headed back to our favorite roadside beach. We lounged and swam ALL. DAY. LONG. Heaven. We went back to the wind tunnel and got ready for our Luau. We booked the Old Lahaina Luau because I had heard many different places that this was the best one to go to. The most authentic luau on Maui. I was less than impressed. I guess the raving reviews made my expectations too high or something. The spread was pretty small (my plate was still half empty when I reached the end of the buffet line), the drinks were extremely sweet and weak, and the performance was pretty average. For the money we spent, I was not impressed.

Road to Hana. See the waterfalls and one lane bridge sign?

The next day we got up early and headed out to do the Road to Hana. Possibly the best day of our trip. When they say that Hana is a rainforest... THEY AREN'T KIDDING. Holy jungle. I've never seen anything like that in my life. And random waterfalls on the side of the road or up on the mountain sides just made the scenery that much better. We ended our trek at the 7 Sacred Pools (Oheo Gulch) where we hiked up to the top pool and swam. The water was COLD. Like, literally take your breath away when you jump in cold. And when you swam out to the center of the pool, hurt your skin cold. Never ever ever get used to it no matter how long you swam for cold. The lower pools were warmer since they were smaller and further from the "source" but they were crowded and we were alone in the top pool, so we stayed. I swam underneath the waterfall and OMG. The pressure and power from the waterfall took my breath away all over again. But an experience I wouldn't trade for the world. The drive back, even without making any stops, took 2.5 hours. The road is SO CURVY that you can't drive faster than 20mph. And even 20 is pushin it, the speed limit was 15mph. And SO MANY ONE LANE BRIDGES. A little bit scary! We were gone from 7am to 5:30 pm. A FULL day.  We went to dinner at this little, local place called Aloha Mixed Plate on a recommendation, best dinner the entire trip. Authentic, DELICIOUS food.

The next day was our last. We went into Lahaina and got some waterfront breakfast. Went to the other side of the island to experience some other beaches and found a beach that was cloudy water (strange, from our experience) but the water was so so warm. We swam a little, ate a little, just kinda hung out. Brandon was feelin a little sick from our breakfast (his crab was extremely fishy tasting and a little suspect looking) so we went to the airport a little early and just hung out until our flight. The trip home was a nightmare, but I'll spare you the details.  Instead I'll just share pictures :)

Sunset from Lahaina

View point turnout on the side of the highway. Breath taking views.

One of our first stops on the road to Hana, a black sand beach. We did some exploring and climbing on some lava rocks

I swear i'm not doing a thumbs up. I'm making fun of Brandon for his hang loose

HAHA this sign was along a little path we were hiking on. Wasn't plannin' on it, no worries!

Waterfalls and shorty shorts. I didn't realize how short those shorts were until I went back and looked at pictures.

Just past the "dont shit here sign" How 'bout here? Can I shit here??

Swimming in the 7 Sacred, freezing Pools

Swimmin under the waterfall

The depth in these pictures is decieving, that waterfall is a good 20-25ft tall.

Scare of the century

On Friday night Brandon and I were at my sisters picking up the boys when he mentioned that his right leg felt like it was going numb. I laughed it off that it had fallen asleep on the drive or something. Over the next two hours it progressed to his entire right side being numb, a horrible headache, slurred speech, blurred vision and vomiting. I practically dropped my kids from the moving car* on my moms doorstep and rushed him to the ER. I don't know why I didn't call an ambulance, but i've been lectured for it a few times now.

When we arrived at the ER the receptionist asked his symptoms, took one look at him and ushered us back. After trying to ask him some medical questions and getting some very slurred, hard to understand responses, I heard a "stroke code" go out over the loudspeaker. It only took a minute for me to realize the code was for him. He was hoisted up onto a bed and rolled away. When we got into the room there were already a team of doctors and nurses standing in there waiting for him. Before I had a chance to blink they had given him a blood thinner, hooked him up to an IV, taken off his shirt and covered his chest in wires and monitors.



Seriously, I need this guy to be okay!

He stayed in the hospital from Friday night until late Sunday afternoon going through what seemed like 1,548,199,564 tests. They concluded that it was not a stroke, thank God. It was what they called a "complicated migrane." Basically what happened was his blood vessels constricted so tightly that it started depriving part of his brain of blood, therefore shutting that part of his brain down. Thats why he was feeling numb and confused, his brain was shutting down. Had it gone untreated, it would have turned into a stroke. It was the same symptoms and treatment as a stroke, without the brain damage. I'll take it.

The bad news is that he's prone to these complicated migranes now. And like I mentioned, they can cause a stroke from depriving the brain of blood. He was sent home with a daily preventative medicine to take and a medicine to take after a headache comes on.  '

Hawaii preview! Isn't he handsome?

Rubbing just a little salt into the wound, his birthday was on Monday so he had to spend his birthday weekend in the hospital. We're doing a birthday re-do this weekend. :)

I know I still need to post about our vacation, I will I promise.



*I assure you I did not in fact throw my kids from a moving car.

i'm alive!!

Holy moly. I started a new job last week and to say that i've been a lot busier would be an understatement. Hey, remember when I mentioned that I also have two kids? Oh yeah, and a husband that likes to get some attention every once in a while. OH! And that little thing called: full time school.

Our vacation is in three days and it cannot come fast enough. I will be unplugging from life and wont be posting. But believe you me, I'm going to make one doozy of a post when I get back. You get to hear every detail of my week in paradise. I bet your stoked.

Of course it happens that Anthony gets insanely sick right before we leave. I'm not sure why, but if you so much as sniffle around that child he has a 103 fever the next day. He catches any and everything around him. We're stuffing him with antibiotics and motrin right now and praying for a speedy recovery so his week away from us isn't any harder than it's already going to be.  Say a little prayer for my little man and i'll be back in about a week to assault your eyes with pictures of me on the beach in a bikini with my i've-had-two-kids tummy in all it's glory ;)