Summer blues

Every year this happens. At the beggining of summer I start to feel...nostalgic? Mostly just unsettled I guess. I don't know why this happens. Every year I want something new, some change, I never seem to be fully satisfied. I always want to move, or change jobs or SOMETHING. I think back to summers past and every summer was my favorite, and I guess I miss them.

In the summer of '03 I was 17, it was the summer between my junior year and my senior year. My life at home sucked so I did a lot of escaping. I was at the beach constantly. I mean, constantly. I would go by myself, I would go with friends, I would go before work, I would go after work, I would go all day and stay until I was too cold, then finally go home. My friends and I would go to the beach in the morning, stay all day, and have a bon fire once night came. This is one of the very few times of my high school life that I actually miss. Despite the hurt that I was trying to run from, I had some amazing times that summer. That was my favorite summer.

The summer of '08, I was pregnant with Anthony and Brandon and I had just moved into our Carefree condo. We were not carefree there, that was the name of the street it was on. We loved that condo. We got a bbq and some patio furniture for our little back yard.  We spent so much time just relaxing in our yard, bbq'ing and swimming in the complex's pool. We spent our Saturdays every weekend riding bikes around the bay. We were happy, loved our new place and were waiting for first baby to arrive. That was my favorite summer.

Anthony, July 4, 2009

The summer of '09, our second summer in the Carefree condo. We hosted our first 4th of July party and to this day that has stood as my favorite 4th of July. Anthony was about 8 months old and we got to do all kinds of fun things with him. We took him swimming for the first time, gave him popsicles for the first time, took him to the Del Mar fair, took him to the park, took him to his first Padre game, we were just enjoying our new little family.  That was my favorite summer.

Noah, summer '11 his first time at Disneyland

The summer of '11, I was pregnant with Noah, and we lived in the Marilla condo. Anthony could swim on his own so we spent so much time at the pool. These condos were so quiet we were almost always at the pool alone. We were expanding our family. We spent so much time just the three of us, soaking up our last few months as a family of three. I got to go on maternity leave at the end of summer, and as you saw from my last post, I loved maternity leave. I got to spend my days with my boys. Every morning we would go to the park and walk the trail, ending at the park to give Anthony some play time. I got to play in the kitchen trying new recipes, watch obscene amounts of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and watch Ghost Adventures while the boys napped. Life was good. That was my favorite summer.

This summer will be more like our first as a family of four. Noah was born late in summer and newborns don't get to do much fun stuff, so last summer only half counts. This summer we get to take Noah swimming for the first time, and take him to the fair and the park and all the fun baby summer stuff. And this time we get to do it with a toddler too. Doing things with a toddler is so different. Their zeal for life is contageous, and even the most normal things like going to the grocery store, can be made to be so much fun with a toddler. (or a nightmare, depending on their mood lol) This will be my favorite summer. So I don't know why im feeling unsettled. I decided this week I'm taking on the project of fixing up our practically abandoned back patio. Our back patio has a TON of potential to be awesome, but it's just...not. I'm hoping to make it inhabitable back there so we can have another 4th of July party. Hopefully I'll have a before and after post for you soon. This summer will be great, just like all the rest of them have been. I just have to get past this little funk and enjoy life. Then next year when these funky ass summer blues hit, i'll look back and remember this summer as my favorite, too.

Memorial day 2012. Daddy and his mini me

Noey, May 2012